Take Our Love Addiction Self-Assessment Quiz: A CBT-Based Approach

First of all, who isn’t? Love is the best thing in life and makes the world go around (and the lack of love, but that’s another topic). Love can be one of life’s most intoxicating experiences – the butterflies, the racing heart, the euphoric highs of new romance. But for some, these intense feelings become more than just the natural excitement of connection; they transform into an overwhelming need that consumes everyday life, leading them to feel addicted to love.

Love addiction is a complex emotional pattern that goes beyond normal romantic enthusiasm. It’s when the pursuit of love becomes a compulsive cycle, where an individual’s sense of worth and happiness becomes entangled with their romantic interests. Those who find themselves addicted to love may struggle to maintain a healthy balance in their relationships.

Whether it’s obsessively checking messages, riding waves of elation and despair based on someone’s attention, or being unable to step away from toxic relationships, love addicts find themselves caught in a pattern where the pursuit of romantic connection overrides their well-being. Like a swimmer caught in a riptide, they may pull deeper into unhealthy patterns while believing they follow their heart – all in the name of love addiction.

We all love falling in love—the butterflies, the excitement, the endless possibilities. But for some people, the pursuit of romance becomes more than just a natural desire; it transforms into a pattern that might feel overwhelming and all-consuming. Take this quiz to explore whether your approach to love and relationships might veer into addictive territory.

Do you find yourself…

Getting intensely attached to someone after just a few dates, already imagining your future together? Your heart races at every notification, hoping it’s them. You’ve memorized their schedule and plan your days around the possibility of running into them “accidentally.”

Or perhaps you’re the opposite—when someone shows genuine interest, you feel excitement followed by an immediate need to chase someone less available. The thrill of the pursuit becomes more intoxicating than the relationship itself.

Maybe you’ve noticed that your relationships follow a familiar pattern: intense beginnings that burn bright like fireworks, followed by a desperate need to maintain that initial high. When a relationship’s natural ebb and flow sets in, you might find yourself already scanning the horizon for your next romantic fix.

The truth is, love addiction isn’t about loving too much—it’s about using the intensity of romantic connections to fill a void or escape from deeper emotional needs. If you find yourself nodding to these scenarios, you might use relationships as your primary source of validation, worth, and excitement.

Ready to dig deeper? Answer the following questions honestly, and remember—awareness is the first step toward healthier relationship patterns…

This self-assessment is designed to help you better understand your relationship patterns and emotional responses to romantic connections. Based on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) principles, it examines common behaviors and thought patterns associated with love addiction. While not a diagnostic tool, this assessment can provide valuable insights into your relationship with relationships themselves, especially if you suspect you might be addicted to love. At the very least, this quiz is a start to uncover your tendencies towards love addiction.

Whether you’re questioning your dating patterns, recovering from a problematic relationship, or simply seeking to understand yourself better, approaching this assessment with honest self-reflection can be a decisive first step toward consciously creating healthier relationships and breaking free from love addiction. Remember, you are not alone. Celebrities like Alanis Morisette and Whitney Cummings have both struggled with the infliction.

Are you Addicted to love? Take the quiz and find out

This self-assessment quiz is based on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and research on love addiction patterns.

Note down each answer by rating each statement on a scale of 0-3:

0 = Never true
1 = Sometimes true
2 = Often true
3 = Almost always true

Assessment Questions

I feel empty, bored, or incomplete when I’m not in a romantic relationship. Love interests are way more fun. It makes sense to me to be in a relationship as soon as possible.
When dating someone new, I tend to ignore “red flags” because I don’t like being alone, and besides, people can change given a chance, no one is perfect.
I find myself fantasizing about potential partners and creating detailed scenarios of our future together, even before getting to know them well.
I repeatedly (unknowingly at first) pursue relationships with emotionally unavailable or get into ‘situationships’, hoping I can change them and things will improve.
My mood and self-worth heavily depend on whether someone I’m attracted to gives me attention. My mood changes when I get attention from them.
I struggle to maintain personal boundaries in relationships because I don’t like being alone if I can help it.
When a relationship ends, I quickly seek a new partner rather than taking time to be alone and thinking about the past.
I often neglect friendships, family relationships, or work responsibilities in a romantic relationship. I feel my new partner is my priority.
I have a pattern of staying in unhealthy relationships because it’s crucial to work it out and give it a chance.
I frequently check my phone or social media for messages from romantic interests, feeling anxious when I don’t receive a response.
I share personal information early in relationships because I am an open book and want them to know everything about me.
My relationships often start with intense passion but end in emotional chaos.
I find myself trying to “rescue, nurture,” or “fix” partners, even though it stresses me out.
I struggle to focus on daily tasks when experiencing relationship uncertainty. My mind is overcome with emotional distress.
I often compromise my values or beliefs by dismissing them to maintain a romantic connection- thinking I am being cool and easy breezy.
When dating someone new, I tend to put them on a pedestal and idealize them; I love to fall in love with them.
I have a history of repeatedly returning to toxic relationships despite promising myself I wouldn’t.
I experience physical symptoms (like anxiety, trouble sleeping, or loss of appetite) when facing relationship challenges.
I base major life decisions around potential or current romantic partners rather than my own goals. The partnership is always a big dream of mine.
I find myself needing increasing amounts of attention or validation from romantic interests to feel secure.

Scoring Guide

Add up your total score:

0-20: Low indication of love addiction patterns

You generally maintain healthy boundaries in relationships and have a balanced approach to romantic connections. While you may experience normal relationship anxieties and attractions, you typically:

Can maintain your independence within relationships
Process breakups without immediately seeking new relationships
Keep healthy connections with friends and family while dating
Make decisions based on your own values rather than partner preferences
Navigate relationship challenges without extreme emotional distress

Focus Areas: Continue developing emotional awareness and maintaining healthy boundaries. Consider working on any specific questions where you scored 2 or 3.

21-40: Moderate indication of love addiction patterns

You show some patterns that could develop into love addiction behaviors. You might:

Sometimes, they struggle with relationship boundaries
Experience periodic intense attachment to romantic interests
Feel occasional strong anxiety about being alone
Find yourself compromising personal values in relationships
Have difficulty fully processing one relationship before starting another

Focus Areas: Work on strengthening self-identity outside of relationships, developing stronger boundaries, and exploring any childhood or past relationship patterns that might influence current behavior.

41-60: Strong indication of love addiction patterns

Your responses suggest significant patterns aligned with love addiction behaviors. You likely experience:

Strong fear of abandonment that influences relationship choices
Consistent difficulty maintaining personal boundaries
Regular emotional distress when not in a relationship
Pattern of rushing into new relationships
Tendency to stay in unhealthy relationships despite negative consequences
Frequent neglect of other life areas when romantically involved
Strong attachment to potential partners before truly knowing them

Focus Areas: Consider seeking professional support to address these patterns. Focus on developing self-worth independent of relationships and creating healthy coping mechanisms for relationship anxiety.

Additional Score Insights

Consider not just your total score, but also:

Clusters of high scores in particular areas (like boundary issues or abandonment fears)
Individual questions where you scored 3 (almost always true)
Patterns in your responses related to:
- Emotional dependency
- Boundary maintenance
- Self-worth connection to relationships
- Relationship pace preferences
- Attachment style indicators

Important Notes:

There’s no doubt a romantic in all of us, but for the BEST QUALITY LOVE, we should always try and sit on a foundation of self-love for both parties individually. This quiz merely highlights where your love scale tips – you or your beloved. Focusing too much on your ‘potential partner’ will only cause complications later.

This quiz is for self-reflection purposes only and should not be used as a diagnostic tool.

A high score suggests patterns associated with love addiction but does not constitute a clinical diagnosis.

Discuss your results with a qualified mental health professional for proper evaluation and support.

Next Steps and Wellness Practices

If your score suggests patterns of love addiction, consider implementing therapy and following our 7 Optimising Non-Negotiable approaches here. Be sure to Google to find a therapy or support group near you :

Professional Support Options

Individual Therapy Approaches

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Focuses on identifying and changing unhealthy thought patterns Helps develop coping strategies for relationship triggers Usually involves weekly sessions with homework assignments May include exposure therapy for abandonment fears	Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Specifically helpful for emotional regulation Teaches mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness Often includes both individual and group sessions Provides concrete skills for managing relationship intensity
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Helpful for processing relationship trauma Addresses underlying attachment wounds Usually shorter-term than traditional talk therapy Can help reduce triggering from past relationships	Psychodynamic Therapy Explores childhood and past relationship patterns Helps understand unconscious relationship choices Typically longer-term treatment Focuses on deep-rooted attachment styles

Group Support Programs

SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous)
12-step program specifically for love addiction
Available in many cities and online
Provides sponsor support system
Free to attend

CoDA (Codependents Anonymous)
Addresses underlying codependency issues
Worldwide meeting availability
Community support structure
Literature and workbook programs available

Process Groups
Led by licensed therapists
Small group format (usually 6-8 people)
Focus on interpersonal dynamics
Provides real-time relationship feedback

Specialized Professional Support

Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT)
Specifically trained in love and sex addiction
Understanding of addiction cycles
Often provides structured recovery programs
May offer intensive workshops

Attachment-Based Therapists
Focus on healing attachment wounds
Help develop secure attachment styles
Often integrate somatic experiencing
Specialty in developmental trauma

Relationship Coaches
Practical skill-building focus
Dating strategy development
Boundary-setting practice
Communication skill enhancement

Finding the Right Professional Support

Most importantly, listen to your feelings if you like your therapist and feel comfortable enough to trust them without hesitation.

Questions to Ask Potential Therapists: What is your experience with love addiction? What therapeutic approaches do you use? How do you measure progress? What is your approach to attachment work?	Credentials to Look For: Licensed Mental Health Professional Additional certifications in addiction Specialized relationship training Experience with attachment theory
Treatment Planning Considerations: Frequency of sessions needed Insurance coverage options Combination of approaches Timeline for treatment goals	Red Flags to Watch For: Lack of boundaries in therapeutic relationship One-size-fits-all approach Pressure to commit to long-term contracts Unwillingness to collaborate with other providers

Remember that healing from love addiction is a journey, not a destination. These practices work best when implemented gradually and consistently. Start with what feels most manageable and build from there. With proper support and commitment to personal growth, it’s possible to develop more balanced and fulfilling relationships.

Track your progress using a wellness journal, noting which practices help most. Adjust your routine based on what works best for you, and be patient with yourself as you develop new patterns.

Note: Some citations may need verification as they are based on commonly referenced works in love addiction and CBT. Please verify specific references independently.

References and Research Base

This assessment draws from the following therapeutic frameworks and research:

Carnes, P. (1991). Don’t call it love: Recovery from sexual addiction. Bantam Books.
Sussman, S. (2010). Love addiction: Definition, etiology, treatment. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 17(1), 31-45.
Whiteman, S. W., & Peterson, A. (2012). Addictive love relationships: A cognitive behavioral model. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 26(4), 379-395.
Fisher, H. E. (2016). Anatomy of love: A natural history of mating, marriage, and why we stray. WW Norton & Company.
Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017). Addicted to love: What is love addiction and when should it be treated? Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology, 24(1), 77-92.

Are You Addicted to Love?