By learning how to give ourselves emotional support and validation, we can break the negative cycle of seeking to resolve our unmet needs. (Photo; sai De Silva @Unsplash)
What is Self-Parenting?
The ultimate form of self-love. It’s learning how to recognize one’s feelings, set healthy boundaries and give love, support, understanding, and acceptance. Self-parenting is a way to feel safe for those who experienced trauma caused by emotional neglect. It is a chance to be an inner parent to an inner child.
Growing up with an emotionally absent parent can be a tough road. Children need emotional support and validation, and when that’s missing from a parent, it can cause long-lasting damage. As adults, we may unintentionally re-create our trauma with self-sabotage seeking constant reassurance and validation in our relationships or even struggle with low self-esteem.
However, there is good news: we can learn how to “self-parent.” By learning how to give ourselves emotional support and validation, we can break the negative cycle of seeking to resolve our unmet needs in our adult relationships.
With our inner parent, we can loosen our self-doubt and build stronger, healthier relationships with ourselves and others. While it may take time and effort and maybe even require a family therapist, the self-healing journey is worth it.
In this blog post, we’ll explore how self-parenting works by focusing on five key areas: physical wellness, mental health, spiritual practices, meditation and reflection, creative pursuits, and emotional nurturing.
By exploring these aspects of self-care in more depth, you can learn how to nurture yourself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. With this knowledge, you’ll be able to create a safe environment and become the ‘good parents’ within yourself that enable you to experience contentment and joy.
Table of Contents
Benefits of Self-Parenting
Like parenting, you must treat yourself with the same kindness, understanding, acceptance, and support that a loving parent or other authority figures would provide.
This means acknowledging any trauma, your own emotions, and needs, setting boundaries, and creating a safe nurturing space is key to honoring them.
The benefits are endless:
- Improve your self-esteem.
- Reduce anxiety and depression.
- Enhance your interpersonal and adult relationships.
- Increase your resilience in life’s challenges.
Internally you feel fortified as you begin the process and can navigate the struggle of life’s challenges.
While you can’t change your childhood, erase the trauma, or replace your authority figures, you can protect your emotions from hurt. Take control of your life, and acknowledge you deserve to live your best life.
Setting Boundaries
Parenting is tough, but self-parenting is a whole different ballgame. It’s the act of nurturing yourself as you matter because you do. Strong boundary setting is essential for a healthy mental state. Like a personal fence around your emotions and time, identify any unnecessary negativity or unwanted obligations and stay away.
By creating these clear lines in the sand, you’ll learn to prioritize your needs and wants above everything else. Plus, it gives you an excuse to say “no” to your least favorite family member’s weekly dinner request. Win-win! So, be a good parent and self-advocate like your inner child is counting on it because they are.
Physical Nurturing
•Healthy Eating Habits
You are what you eat.” So why not treat your body with foods that make it thrive. (Photo: Abdalla MY @Unsplash)
Research shows creating healthy eating strategies is more than a fad; it’s a journey toward taking care of your whole self. When you develop a positive relationship with food, you’re satisfying your taste buds and nurturing your body.
Your physical well-being is directly linked to what you put into your body every day. Assume good nutrition and supplement strategies for optimum energy and mood support.
Don’t be fooled; your mom was right when she said, “You are what you eat.” So why not treat your body with foods that make it thrive instead of dealing with an energy crash?
In recent years yummy whole foods have been like therapy for the soul. With good food, you can relax and begin to talk and share with others or have a wonderful meal or dessert.
• Exercise and Movement
When we take the time to be present and aware, we allow ourselves to tune into our thoughts and feelings on a deeper level. ( Photo: Ginny Rose Steward @Unsplash)
Exercise and movement are important for physical health and play a crucial role in our emotional well-being. When we move our bodies, we release endorphins – the feel-good hormone – which boost our mood and reduce stress levels.
Through exercise and movement, we heal our bodies and minds by creating a sense of empowerment and building self-esteem.
So next time you’re feeling low or stressed, try taking a walk or dance class – it may just be what your family therapist ordered.
•Proper Sleep and Rest
Have you ever had a day when you didn’t feel like yourself? Everything seemed more challenging than usual, and your mood was just off. It’s time to do some self-parenting- get some better sleep!
Chances are, you needed to get more proper sleep and rest. Taking care of ourselves is the ultimate form of self-care, and adequate sleep is a key component. When we don’t get enough sleep, our cognitive function suffers, our mood can be negatively affected, and even our physical health can be compromised.
In short, lack of proper sleep and rest can impact every aspect of our lives. So, the next time you’re tempted to stay up late binge-watching your favorite show, remember that you’re doing your future self a favor by hitting the pillow.
Mental Nurturing
• Mindful Practices
Mindfulness has been a buzzword for quite some time now, and it’s not hard to see why. Engaging in a mindful practice offers a plethora of benefits, including feeding the mind.
When we take the time to be present and aware, we allow ourselves to tune into our thoughts and feelings on a deeper level. By doing so, we allow ourselves to gain clarity, self-awareness, and a greater understanding of our personal growth.
Whether through meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few minutes each day to breathe and be still, mindful practice can be a powerful tool for self-improvement. So, why not try it and see how it can feed your mind and help you become the best version of yourself?
• Meditation and Reflection
Dedicating a few minutes each day to breathe in gratitude is a powerful tool for self-improvement. ( Photo: Sage Friedman)
Have you ever tried meditating or taking some time to self-reflect? These practices can have some fantastic mental nurturing results. By taking a few minutes each day to focus on your thoughts and emotions, you can learn to self-parent and become more gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Studies have shown that meditation and self-reflection can improve mood, reduce stress and anxiety, and even boost your immune system. So why not give it a try? The benefits are sure to be worth it!
• Creative Pursuits
Creativity is an unconscious stream of self-expression and intuition. Fostering creativity nurtures the soul. ( Photo: Kaizen Nguy)
Creativity is more than just a means to produce art or music. It’s a way to connect with our inner child and nourish our soul. As adults, we often get bogged down with responsibilities and daily routines, our relationship with our inner child is lost, and there is little room for imagination and play.
But when we tap into our creative side, we give ourselves the opportunity to express ourselves without judgment. This is especially important for those who may have yet to hear their voice much as children.
By being our inner parent through creativity, we can validate our emotions and thoughts, leading to a stronger sense of self and inner peace. The self-parenting we can give ourselves is like the fence around the playground. We allow ourselves to play without harm.
So next time you feel stuck in a rut, try doing something creative. You may be surprised at its therapeutic benefits on your soul.
Emotional Nurturing
By developing a sense of self-compassion, we can learn to be more gentle with ourselves and find the emotional support we need to move forward. (Photo: Jackson David Srunq)
• Expressing Feelings Safely
In a world where vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, it’s essential to have a safe space to express their suppressed emotions freely. This is where fostering emotional nurturing comes into play.
By this practice and creating a safe space for yourself, you can ease the weight of any unshared emotions that sit heavy on your heart. With this kind of emotional liberation comes healing, personal growth, and genuine emotional intimacy with others.
It’s time to prioritize our emotional well-being and embrace the power of sharing and nurturing our feelings in a safe and supportive environment.
• Developing Self-Compassion
Developing self-compassion can be a powerful tool for healing. When faced with difficult emotions or situations, our instinct may be to criticize, blame or shame ourselves.
Subconsciously we take on negative traits passed down from our parents. But what if we believe we can right the wrongs of our past? This means exploring our feelings, understanding how they impact our adulthood, and treating ourselves with the kindness, understanding, and support we would offer a child in distress. Self-parenting yourself the way you needed to be self-parented.
By developing a sense of self-compassion, we can learn to be more gentle with ourselves and find the emotional support we need to move forward. This practice can bring a sense of calm and personal growth, allowing us to develop stronger relationships with ourselves and others.
• Creating Meaningful Connections
Our relationships and deep personal connections enrich our lives and allow us to evolve if we are open to learning from our experiences with them. (Photos: Camylla Battani)
One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to create meaningful connections with others. When we invest time and energy into our relationships, we allow ourselves to grow and learn from others. It’s like having a parent’s moment – we’re nurturing our personal development by connecting with others who can offer different perspectives, experiences, and insights.
These connections can help us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses, and help us see things from a new point of view.
Anything that promotes self-growth is a worthy investment, and building meaningful connections with others is one of the best ways to do that.
Conclusion
Self-parenting is the ultimate act of self-love. The opportunity to take a step back and practice loving self-care and acceptance can provide our self-nourishment and make us feel refreshed.
While becoming your own inner parent is not an easy task and requires discipline, it’s a time well spent and a skill that can increase your quality of life.
This process can initially seem tedious, but ironically, what is learned through this therapy reframes the new non-negotiables in your relationship and life from now on. Want to realize your potential fully? What are you waiting for?
Photos Courtesy of Unsplash
