Self-partnering is about having your own back. Consciously on your own team, as your own cheerleader especially when dating. (Photo: Nadim Merrikh)


Contrary to traditional beliefs, being single is not a detriment but a solid independent lifestyle choice. Self-partnering allows for self-inquiry and the opportunity to become your best friend. Society has stigmatized unattached individuals, making them feel incomplete and unworthy without a partner to validate their existence. This harmful ideology has played a role in fostering codependent and toxic relationships. However, a self-partnered relationship provides personal space to enjoy and deepen your relationship with yourself.

What is Self-Partnering?

Self-partnering is a journey of self-growth and an opportunity for change and evolution. It allows you to explore your interests without the need to constantly check in with a partner. It is a time for self-inquiry, self-validation, and self-love. Being self-partnered is not selfish; it is an act of prioritizing yourself and treating yourself with the same love, care, and respect you would give to a partner. By putting yourself first, you become your best self and can build a solid foundation for future relationships.

What is another word for self-partnered?

Being self-partnered means loving and taking care of yourself as a true ideal partner would. It doesn’t mean you’re not dating, it just means you’re happy and fulfilled on your own terms. In other words, you’re not settling for less than you deserve. You’re not thirsty for just anyone. Other synonyms for self-partnered include “self-connected,” “self-nurturing,” “self-cherishing,” and “self-embracing.” These terms highlight the importance of self-love, ultimately leading to a sense of wholeness and fulfillment within oneself.

Who coined the term self-partnered?

“Self-partnered” is a term coined by actress Emma Watson, which emphasizes the idea of fostering a fulfilling relationship with oneself. It means actively taking care of yourself, nurturing your own needs, and treating yourself with the same love and compassion that you would offer to a romantic partner. In simpler terms, she means she is unattached without wanting to be in a relationship but is dating.

How can I be my own partner?

Want to have a great relationship with yourself? It all starts with learning how to love yourself. Be kind to yourself, accept your strengths, and forgive your flaws. Prioritizing self-care, self-compassion, and self-discovery. Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by doing things you love, like exercising, eating healthily, and getting enough rest. Reflect on what you value and act out with integrity that is authentic to you. Protect yourself from potentially negative people and situations. Surround yourself with positive people. Don’t forget to enjoy things that make you happy, whether it’s trying new hobbies or pampering yourself. Take time and commit to integrating these principles as a lifestyle change and then you can build a truly fulfilling relationship with yourself.

Benefits of Alone time

take time to reflect, self-partnered relatiohships foster self-growth

A journey of self-discovery that leads to personal authenticity and a grounded sense of fulfillment. (Photo: Julia Caesar @Unsplash)


Choosing to stay single for a while offers several benefits that contribute to personal growth and fulfillment. It allows you to intimately get to know yourself, cultivate self-validation, and overcome fears of abandonment. Choosing self-partnering challenges you to step out of your comfort zone and build confidence and self-esteem. It empowers you to become self-reliant and less dependent on external validation. Through self-partnering, you gain a deeper understanding of your values, strengths, triggers, and weaknesses. Ultimately, it is a journey of self-discovery that leads to personal authenticity and a grounded sense of fulfillment.

Self-partnering is a continuous journey of self-love and self-care. Here are some practical tips to help you get started:

1. Seek Inspiration

Fill yourself with inspiring content that promotes self-growth and aligns with your values. Engage in self-education through reading books, and listening to audiobooks, and podcasts. Explore authors like Brene Brown, who writes about courage and vulnerability in relationships. Find podcasts like Lewis Howes’ “School of Greatness” or Oprah’s “Soul Sundays” that offer insights on personal growth and self-discovery.

2. Spend Quality “Me” Time

Slow down and be present with yourself. Relating with yourself is the relationship with yourself. And therefore self-partnered. Take the time to decompress and reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Practice gratitude and appreciate the things that bring you joy. Engage in self-observation and identify what motivates you and what drains you. This will help you prioritize and shape the life you want to create.

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Make self-care a priority in your daily life. Treat yourself with kindness and love. Create a self-care routine that includes activities promoting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can involve getting enough sleep, eating healthily, meditating, reading, or taking relaxing baths. Find what brings you joy and incorporate it into your self-care routine. Consider your overall health and ensure you take necessary precautions, such as regular check-ups and a balanced diet.

4. Practice Setting Boundaries

Learning to say “no” and setting boundaries is crucial for protecting your mental and emotional well-being. Articulate your feelings with care and find ways to establish healthy boundaries with others. This practice fosters respect, understanding, and acceptance from those around you and allows you to filter out relationships that no longer align with your values.

5. Enjoy Your Own Company

Embrace solitude and enjoy your own company. Take yourself on dates, go for walks, try new hobbies, and fully immerse yourself in the present moment. Let go of expectations and accept what is happening around you. Remember your commitment to your self-partnered self and reflect on what you want to achieve through this journey. Opening yourself to new experiences will facilitate personal growth and fulfillment.

Chose an everlasting love affair

Self-partnering is a conscious choice to nurture a fulfilling and loving relationship with yourself. It is not a selfish act but an act of kindness towards yourself. By prioritizing self-love and self-care, you become an independently happy person who can navigate future relationships from a place of strength and authenticity. Embrace self-partnering as a journey of personal growth and fulfillment, and remember that loving yourself first is the foundation for a fulfilling life.

Photo Courtesy of Unsplash