Self-partnering does not exclude dating. (Photo: Globelet Reusable @Unsplash)
Being single isn’t a curse, it’s an opportunity. With the rise of self-partnering, women have found a way to embrace themselves as the best partner they could ever ask for. Would you rather date someone who didn’t appreciate you, or your self-loving self? It’s all about your relationship with that person in the mirror. If you can satisfy that person’s needs, then the next one will have to rise to the standard. Self-partnering is a concept that emphasizes personal growth and fulfillment before entering into marriage or committing to serious relationships. It involves dating oneself and focusing on personal well-being, and self-discovery. Self-partnering encourages individuals to cultivate a healthy, loving relationship with themselves, fostering a sense of independence and radical self-acceptance.
For those unfamiliar with this idea, practicing self-love is essentially an act of self-love. It’s dedicating time and energy to take care of your needs to form valuable lifelong self-love habits. This movement has helped women with their well-being, develop self-love, implement healthy boundaries and personal growth, and quiet negative thoughts and the inner critic. It’s a practice that fosters self-respect and encourages positive emotions over feelings of shame.
Self-partnering is a concept that emphasizes personal growth and fulfillment before entering into marriage or committing to serious relationships. (Photo: Tachina Lee)
By focusing on your wants and needs, you become more focused on your well-being and learn how to receive self-forgiveness. It’s about emotionally supporting yourself to learn what matters to you and what feel-good non-negotiables you need to thrive—and not depending heavily on a partner to fill the void, obsessions, or addictions. It emphasizes integrity in dating by making conscious choices that align with one’s values and desires, allowing for personal growth and the pursuit of meaningful connections without the pressure of external expectations or attachments.
Table of Contents
The Single Woman
Despite the stigma of being unattached- think spinster- we need to change the stereotype. There is a multitude of benefits to embracing this phase of life. For women, particularly, being single can be a time of reconnecting to the inner self.
In today’s society, women are often expected to be the primary nurturers. Whether it’s taking care of children or looking out for friends and family, many women feel the weight of these expectations on their shoulders. And with the added pressure of social media, it’s easy to feel like we must also look a certain way and be in a specific type of relationship to be considered successful or “good enough.”
Being single allows us to examine these societal norms and challenge our truths. By embracing the opportunity to focus on ourselves and prioritize our needs, we can set a course for moving forward in a way that feels more authentic to who we are.
Whether we choose to date or not, self-partnering allows us to define success on our terms and build relationships that align with our values.
Choosing singlehood over repeatedly selecting the wrong partner can bring about benefits of personal liberation, growth, and the opportunity for self-discovery. (Photo: Cosmic Timetraveler @Unsplash)
Emma Watson, (actress from Harry Potter) UN Goodwill Women’s Rights Activist, is an absolute boss when it comes to owning her single status. She coined the term to describe her approach to this intentional way of living.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, there’s something truly empowering about focusing on your needs and enjoying your company. And if the brilliant Emma Watson is backing it, we’re all for it.
Benefits of Self-Partnering:
- Self-Love and Acceptance: Self-partnering promotes self-love and acceptance, fostering a positive self-image and enhancing self-esteem. It encourages individuals to prioritize their needs and practice self-compassion.
- Personal Growth and Fulfillment: By investing time and energy in self-development, self-partnered individuals can pursue their passions, interests, and goals. This journey of personal growth leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment and purpose.
- Healthy Boundaries: Self-partnering empowers individuals to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. It encourages authenticity and the ability to express oneself honestly, leading to more genuine and meaningful relationships.
- Emotional Resilience: Developing a strong relationship with oneself through self-partnering enhances emotional resilience. It equips individuals with the tools to navigate life’s ups and downs with greater self-awareness, adaptability, and inner strength.
Advantages of one
Being single is increasingly becoming a popular and acceptable option for many people today. It’s all about practicing self-love and prioritizing yourself, your happiness, and your well-being.
Some use this time to create healthy habits, practice self-care and stop comparing yourself to others.
By choosing to focus on yourself, you are empowered to discover your passions, define your own needs, and live life on your terms. Being single and ready to mingle also allows one to avoid the stress and drama that often comes with relationships. It gives you time to work on your spiritual growth and self-compassion. Build better relationships with people who will complement rather than complete you. Ultimately, this lifestyle choice can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Increased Confidence
Being single can be scary, especially as we get older and the pressure to settle down mounts. But not in a couple- unnatural? I’m not so sure about that. After all, there’s nothing more empowering than taking control of your own life and embracing your independence. And while it’s true that a patriotic narrative served a purpose in times gone by, (needing to add to the population growth as a thriving society?) Today’s world is different. That’s not to say that being in a healthy relationship and family-making aren’t still important – far from it. But we need to re-frame the narrative of how that works so that is fairly suited for everyone. Being unattached can be a powerful way to re-evaluate, build self-worth and confidence, and help us prepare for the future.
Independence
Whether it’s in business, family, or love, navigating relationships is a lot easier when you’ve already learned how to take care of yourself first. So if you’re feeling scared about being single, remember that it’s an opportunity to grow and develop your skills – not just as a partner, but as a person.
Whether you’re interested in a partnership similar to marriage or not, learning how to stand on your own two feet can be incredibly empowering. Not only does it help you feel more capable of taking on new challenges and gives you a strong foundation for building healthy, fulfilling relationships in the future.
Focus on yourself allows for a higher standard of life. (Photo: Marivi Pazos)
Improved Mental Health
Identifying as a single person comes the peace of mind not always experienced in a relationship. Many find this lifestyle way more relaxing without the emotional arguments over household priorities or lifestyle choices in which you are emotionally invested. Single life is freeing; you have complete control to curate your surroundings, enjoy them and move around when you want to without checking in with someone.
Being comfortable with time alone can lead to a stronger sense of independence and a wider array of activities. Instead of seeking validation or approval from others, embracing solitude can allow for personal growth and self-reflection.
While the idea of jumping back into the dating scene may seem enticing, the effort put into getting to know someone new can be exhausting compared to the easy fun-loving friendships built over time.
For those choosing the wrong partner repeatedly, singlehood over a toxic relationship is beneficial and liberating. Focus on yourself allows for a higher standard of life. It’s like taking a much-needed break from the dating scene—an intentional self-journey to dive deeper into ourselves and our purpose. Who knows, we might even find that we prefer the company of ourselves more than anyone else.
Being content with solitude enables an individual to appreciate their own company and make more meaningful connections with others in the future. We become self-sufficient.
Personal Growth: Going beyond self-love
Enhanced personal growth and development isn’t just about being single and focusing on self-partnering. It’s also about understanding how dating and relationships fit into that personal growth.
While synonymous with self-care, the latter may suggest taking baths and getting massages. But loving yourself goes much deeper than splurging once in a while on pleasures like these. Self-love in a partnering way is a daily activity to check in with yourself and treat yourself the way you treat loved ones. The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation says self-love comes from actions supporting physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.
Incorporating Self-Partnering:
- Self-Care: Prioritize self-care practices that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This includes exercise, meditation, time in nature, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy.
- Embrace Solitude: Set aside regular periods of solitude to reflect, recharge, and connect with your inner self. Use this time for self-reflection, journaling, or engaging in activities that help you reconnect with your values and desires.
- Set Personal Goals: Identify goals and aspirations that align with your values and interests. Break them down into actionable steps and celebrate your achievements along the way.
- Cultivate Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by being kind and understanding toward yourself. Replace self-criticism with positive self-talk. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness.
- Nurture Relationships: While self-partnering emphasizes the importance of self-relationship. It does not mean isolating oneself from others. Foster healthy connections with friends, family, and community, nurturing relationships
Being content with solitude enables an individual to appreciate their own company and make more meaningful connections with others in the future. We become self-sufficient. (Photo: Kelsey Chance)
Whether you’re single or in a committed partnership or just dipping your toes into the dating pool, each interaction or lack of one presents an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. All crucial aspects are embracing vulnerability, working on communication skills, and setting boundaries. The key to approaching dating and relationships with yourself or another person is recognizing that they are vehicles for growth.
Aside from the self-growth work (if you chose to do it) here are some fun tips to keep you social and fulfilled.
7 self-entertaining essentials
- Surround yourself with good food, company, and music, a house is a home where you can dance around in total abandonment.
- Create cozy places in your place to hang out – think daytime nap-worthy. Nothing is more satisfying than a comfortable couch or a fluffy bed to curl up to.
- Host dinners with friends or go out, laughter and high vibrational connections are irreplaceable and good for the soul.
- Don’t get wasted, be fresh. A wasted night is usually a waste of a day.
- Treat yourself like a princess, by taking great of yourself, you set a standard higher; anyone coming into your picture will have to show up higher to get your attention.
- Take time to go to yoga studios and gyms (they are an excellent way to add some scenery to your social calendar).
- Spend time doing something you love.
The pandemic has taught us that nobody’s perfect and the importance of healthy choices. This includes the people we surround ourselves with, especially in relationships. It’s a chance to date and develop a deeper understanding of yourself without the pressure or expectations of a traditional relationship.
As we move towards a work-from-home construct, we must be even more selective in who we allow into our lives. It’s natural to make mistakes when it comes to relationships. It’s essential to seek the guidance of a licensed clinical psychologist when things get rough. Learning from our mistakes and consciously choosing who to love and spend time with will ultimately lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.
Self-partnering promotes self-love and acceptance, fostering a positive self-image and enhancing self-esteem. (Photo: Rendy Novantino)
Rather than waiting around for a partner to come along, build a fulfilling life on your terms. Plus, when you enter into romantic relationships, you’ll have already done the tough work of figuring out who you are and what you want and quickly filtering out what doesn’t align.
Single isn’t just a fad – it’s a powerful way for women to find joy, independence, and self-love.
Fall in love and date yourself first before anyone else does.
Photos Courtesy of Unsplash
